What's wrong with me??
Absolutely nothing!
…THOUGH IT TOOK ME SEVERAL DECADES to realize that.
I had shut down emotionally after my parents' less than amicable divorce when I was around 5-6 years old. I couldn't feel. Numb.
It wasn't until senior year of high school that I asked that question, "What's wrong with me?" Everyone was sad to be leaving friends, but I was … dead inside. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears.
Strange. Very odd.
It was as if all my emotions were locked up in a tiny little black box.
I couldn't access them, much less that mysterious box. Like it had a force field around it or something.
Then faced with coming to terms with my Christian faith and my sexuality and being "bicultural" - first generation American.
Confusion upon confusion.Â
Oddly, while I couldn't cry—I did feel awful about myself. Suicidal at times. Low self-esteem. Ashamed.
I FELT wrong, I FELT broken. What a walking contradiction. Not feeling yet feeling. What the…?!
Unfinished Business
What I later came to discover was not that anything was wrong with me, or broken within me, but that I hadn't yet finished the natural course of healing… of processing… of growing…
You see, whenever we're faced with extreme emotional events (some might call trauma), especially when we're young, we may not have had the capacity to manage, much less the access to, the resources we needed to process what happened to us.Â
Our brain kicked in and protected us from whatever was happening in the moment… and in a sense, "postponed" the processing of the event. … until a later time when we have become more resourceful.
Call it what you will—denial, compartmentalization, etc—we just put it off until later.
So it's not that something is wrong as much as there is unfinished business.
Unfortunately, the alarm clock that signals, "Time to deal with it!" doesn't always come at the most opportune moments. And that's when we might find ourselves overwhelmed, lacking time and energy, and frankly, just unable to manage.
Perhaps we need to mourn, to let go, to release, to resolve, to forgive…
Now is the time?
Perhaps you find yourself in that space now.Â
You know you need to find closure for something, but you're not quite sure how or what.
And so you feel stuck.
Your unconscious mind knows. You know in your gut that this is probably the time to finds some peace and resolution.
You've come to the right place.
As a Strategic Interventionist Life Coach trained with Tony Robbins-Cloe Madanes, and a Certified Professional Master Hypnotist, I've walked along side countless individuals who finished their healing process once started long ago.Â
I'm here to empower you in the present, TODAY, so that your tomorrow looks brighter and more hopeful.
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